Communication and Behaviour
How you communicate will always take you where you go, but won't always give you what you're after..
Is there such a concept as Effective Communication, and eliciting the behaviour you really want? Yes. While there are no shortcuts, and it may take time, patience and your staying-power, it is very accessible and doable, as long as you're prepared to commit to being patient and committed, and thoughtful in your language, tone, and delivery.
How you communicate, what you say, and how you say it, will always determine your outcome. And theirs.
Do you approach, or go guns a-blazing. Is your affect and demeanour big and loud, or are you calm and thoughtful with a goal in mind for both or all of you. Do you react, or respond. Are your words limiting, or open. Are you kind, or nice. These are the many aspects of communication that lead to cause and effect, and not always the one you're really wanting.
Behaviour, meanwhile, is always either a symptom of, or a trigger from. Your own behaviour is managed and monitored and executed by you, always and only. Their behaviour, is usually not because of you, but requires you to perceive and receive in a way that helps, and not hinders, because there is still a goal in mind, an outcome to be had, and feeling and emotions to be acknowledged and satisfied.
Communication requires thought. Behaviour requires regulation and management. Together, it's a practice. We forget we have choice; we get so caught up in the swirl of an argument, the current of a debate, or the gust of anger, that we forget we have control. Getting them to listen, let alone hear you , or understand you and your point of view, becomes a futile exercise in frustration, leading to anger, resentment, and poor behaviour. It doesn't have to.
Learning how to be an Effective Communicator is not only listening, but hearing what the other person is actually saying, and learning how to encourage and elicit the behaviours you want and need, with power and empowerment, to be heard, to have boundaries, and to stay in that power.
Learning how to listen actively and presently, and opposed to reactively and presumptively, how to read between the lines, how to think powerfully with empowerment, to be actionable, to get them to listen, to understand you, to validate you, and create better communication, connection, and harmony, powerfully, empowered, is possible, and there are strategies and techniques you can start implementing right away to attain effective communication and bean effective, powerful communicator.
